Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
