eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
