your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
