if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
did i just pee glitter
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
