the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
