the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
