Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she looked like the before picture.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
