Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
