According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
