Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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