paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When did angry sex become our thing?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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