carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
