I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
