I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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