I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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