Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
