We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
