Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
