So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
