and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I can text with my tongue
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
