Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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