Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
