i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
well I can't set my house on fire every night
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize