She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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