I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
two words...techno handjob
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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