Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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