Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
nutella sex= disaster
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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