remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
