Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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