Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize