he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize