what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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