So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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