I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I need to calm my uterus...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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