It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
