So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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