If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
