Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
