so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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