It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
