Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
