I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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