Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
it hurts more in the daytime
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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