Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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