I need help removing her.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
