What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
