And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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