he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
