Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
