I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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