I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he fucked my hip out of place.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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