i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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