the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
