Got a toothbrush?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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