no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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