After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
