I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
