Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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