I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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