It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
