You made me cry and you don't even care
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
