I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize