I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
