There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm having to shit out rocks
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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