remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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