the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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