I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
