Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
