Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
