If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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