is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
