Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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