just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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