How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
