THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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