The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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