idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
