Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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