i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
