I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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