If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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