**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
