hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
