If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
