you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
