the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
