I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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